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adoption FAQ

September 9, 2009

we’re so grateful to be a part of a community of people that are sharing in this journey of adoption with us. saying goodbye to Amos & Story last week and coming back to the USA to live the “other part” of my contrasting worlds has been difficult to say the least. i’ll probably write a bit about that at some point… not sure i can flesh that out adequately right now.

with many recent questions, i did think it would be a good idea to do some Q&A regarding our adoption. so, these are basic (maybe not detailed) answers to some questions we get.  

WHEN ARE YOUR KIDS COMING HOME?
we are not sure. Story is in the very last stage of adoption from Haiti. She is out of MOI and now waiting for the US embassy in Haiti to schedule her a visa appointment. here she will get a visa in her Haitian passport (that she has had for 2 months) that allows her to travel to America. once she lands in Miami, she will be a citizen and fully adopted. we are literally waiting on a phone call or email that says she has her visa, then we purchase a plane ticket for that day and pick her up. Amos is a little further away from the end of the process. He is still in MOI waiting on a papers to be archived before he can get out of MOI. after MOI, he has to get his Haitian passport, then begin the wait for his visa appointment. all completed paperwork for their adoption process has been in Haiti since January of 2008.

WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG?
this question can’t be answered with a quick, easy answer. there are many many reasons. maybe we can hash through more of this when the process is over, as we’d never want our words to affect the current process in Haiti. in short, you have to remember that when adopting from 3rd world countries, simple things like lack of computers, adequate transportation, electricity, and office process that we might be used to in America are not present daily or at all. although it’s taking a very long time, and might continue to have delays, we know that the people who work on our case are working diligently on our papers. 

WHY DON’T THEY JUST GIVE KIDS AWAY IF THERE’S SO MANY THAT NEED HELP?
remember these are children…they are human beings.  if times get tough for you would you just give your kids away?  some still have a parent, or other family members in the village.  poverty and lack of finances doesn’t mean these children should just be given away.  also, today there are more children in slavery and trafficking than ever in history.  the last thing countries should do is simply give their children away.  process, although frustrating and perhaps unduly bureaucratic, is necessary in the fight against child trafficking. 

WHAT CAN WE DO? CAN’T WE CALL OUR REPRESENTATIVES OR CONGRESSMEN? download Wind Chill
although the thought to help in this way is really appreciated, the best thing you can do is pray that God does the miraculous in bringing our kids home quickly. there have been other cases of US representatives getting involved in Haitian adoptions (and international in general), and it has never gone very well. most of the time, it ends up ticking the country off, in turn delaying the process even further.  

download Game Plan, The

WILL THEY COME HOME TOGETHER?
no. each of our kids will come home when their individual process is finished, as their files are seperate. they are not biological brother and sister.

AARON, HOW WAS YOUR TRIP TO HAITI? WAS IT JUST A BLAST BEING WITH YOUR KIDS?
this is an impossible question to adequately answer. yes, it is always amazing to be with our kids in Haiti. in every way, they are OUR kids. in the eyes of Haitian law, they are legally our children. we are their providers, guardians, etc.  they just can’t come to USA until the rest of process is complete.  so, in every real sense, when we are there it is much more than just visiting some kids we are adopting.  it is an all-too-quick chance to soak up every available second with my son and daughter.  so, although it is absolute bliss playing ball and putting in hair barretts, it is also in many ways torture.  the entire time i was there, i was both full of joy and full of anger.  the day i left was the hardest day of my life.  Amos is getting older…he yearns to be with his father, just as Cayden & Deacon love to wrestle on the bedroom floor everyday.  it is an impossible combination of bliss and anguish.  

IT SEEMS SO HARD, SHOULD WE ADOPT?

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absolutely. no question about it. it’s hard. but, it’s the cause of Jesus.  there’s literally no better depiction of the Gospel of Jesus–what the Father has done in adopting us as his own sons and daughters–than in the picture of adoption.  despite the pain and sorrow, it is a beautiful thing.  seeking the Kingdom of God is hardly going to be easy… and it doesn’t always play out the way we think it should.  through our situation with our kids, i am experiencing such a deep sense of brokenness.  not a brokenness for the way things are panning out for ME necessarily. but a sincere brokenness for the lost, the lonely, and broken.  you see, although Amos is MY son, he’s also a tangible representation of the 147 million orphans that are just like him.  147 million kids that are yearning and hoping for a father to play with, to snuggle with, and grow up alongside.  Amos had 2 photographs of me and Jamie crumpled up in his shorts pocket all day, every day i was there.  i am broken today, because his dad is not with him.  but, further, i am broken for millions of little kids just like him that have not yet experienced the bliss of knowing a father.  yes, if you have been adopted by your Father God…you should indeed adopt.

  1. Brenda Yonker
    September 9th, 2009 @ 12:38 pm

    Very well written!! One question that we get asked a lot if why in the world would you leave the US to adopt a child in another country. Very simply put that just happens to be where our children were born and where God placed them! They were our children from the day they were born it was just in God’s timing when they came home.

  2. Matt Higginbotham
    September 9th, 2009 @ 1:23 pm

    Danyelle and I just decided at the beginning of the month to adopt overseas. We have been watching you and Jaime’s journey along with the Setliffe’s (especially since we are looking at Ethiopian adoption), both of which gave us pause; however, we know that God is calling us to adopt so we are stepping out in faith. Regardless, I would love to email with you about your agency and any wisdom you could impart to us as we start in the process. Grace and Peace.

  3. A Frankie Update! « A Family For Frankie
    September 16th, 2009 @ 7:35 pm

    [...] He and his wife Jamie are adopting two children Amos and Story from Haiti.  Check it out his post here you are wondering why all the [...]

  4. Tonya C.
    September 17th, 2009 @ 12:38 pm

    Congratulations in advance on your adoption in Haiti. I am currently going through the adoption process at MOI in Port au Prince–so I understand how frustrating the wait can be. Good luck to you and your family.

  5. Elora
    September 17th, 2009 @ 8:02 pm

    the last paragraph completely broke me; primarily because my husband & I have grown increasingly anxious to start our own adoption story. I often imagine our kid(s) are out there…waiting…and it absolutely breaks me.
    Thanks for this post-definitely an encouragement.

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